not funny at all

M and i have been friends for 11 years, we've gone through so much shit together and basically grew from fucked up teenagers to fucked up adults. we had breakfast this morning, caught up with each other's lives. mine was pretty much the same, hers had more ups and downs, in a sense. we walked together to the hospital after eating, she was going for her psychiatric session.

i could see the scars on her hand, i know she cuts herself. it can be hard to understand why people cut themselves on purpose. cutting is what experts call an unhealthy coping mechanism. i cannot comprehend her actions, claiming that it transfers her emotional pain to a physical one. but i realise you don't need to understand everything, or more likely, she doesn't want me to understand her in the first place...in case i start judging.

she is clearly suicidal.

i know, cos we've been talking about it for a long time. she told me she applied to join the Police Force, and i asked her why? her reply was shocking, she wants to get hold of a gun so that she could kill herself. i laughed, but in my heart, i didn't think it was funny at all cos i know she wasn't exactly joking. i told her in a cheeky tone, there are many ways to die, you don't need to die at gunpoint, but she said she has a fetish for it. i tried to convince myself i heard wrongly.

while walking to the hospital, she said: "my days are numbered..." i knew she was implying that she is going to kill herself, just don't know when. i reacted nonchalantly to her statement. i said: "so i should cherish my time with you now yeah?"

i bade her goodbye at the hospital's door step and i started to wonder if this will be my last time seeing her.

i turned around, tears dropped as i walked away.

super cock up!

i cannot believe it...i cocked up big time at the PA interview today! this is the bloody first time i walked out from an interview...feeling like i could almost slap myself!!! argh...

know what? everything went on well initially; i managed to get into a cab...found the right office and arrived 15 mins before my scheduled time. i was feeling fresh and excited and had all the 'model answers' to the standard interview questions in my head...ready to shoot back when they fire me me with their questions.

then i was told to wait...cos the person interviewing me is in the middle of a conference call...and i didnt expect the wait to be ONE HOUR!! by the time she was ready to speak to me, in my heart i was already ready to leave!

i lost all my focus during the long wait, and became really restless. finally when i got to my interview, i wasn't even thinking anymore! damn it. and they asked really silly questions...like: "if you were to use an animal to describe yourself, what would it be and why?..." i was like...HAR??

then i gave silly answers.

excuse me, i want to complain

i had a terrible flight last year when i was flying home from Auckland after the end of my Aussie/Kiwi trip. basically it took me 16 hours, 3 different aircrafts and 2 airports before i finally arrived in Changi! hence, i decided that the first thing i have got to do, apart from removing my shoes the moment i arrived home was to WRITE A COMPLAIN LETTER.

excerpts of my complain letter to qantas:

Lack of Transparency
It was never presented to me at any time that I had to make a stopover in Bali, Indonesia, after the transit in Sydney......

In view of the recent horrifying Bali bombings and global terrorist threats, I have been very cautious with the choice of destinations I travel to. I have made a very personal conscious decision to avoid entering the country of Indonesia, and least to say Bali. (fact is: i've always wanted to go Bali...) On New Year’s Day, however, I was made to enter Bali without prior consent, and without a choice.

I travelled alone, and thus was left to my own in the airport at Bali for almost two hours, waiting to re-board the aircraft. It was a nervous and traumatic experience. (fact is: i was having a neck and shoulder massage, ate nasi goreng with satays and bought a sarong there...) Moreover, my travel insurance only covered me in two countries as I had no prior knowledge of having to enter any other country. This meant I would not have been protected if I had met with any mishaps in Bali. If such vital information had been presented to me during the booking of the ticket, I would definitely have not purchased this ticket. (fact is: boh bian, i'd still buy the ticket cos it was the cheapest liao...)

Poor Customer Service
On 3rd January 9:50 am, I contacted your office for customer service assistance. I explained my experience, and was what can only be described as rebuked by a grumpy, rude and uncaring staff...... and promptly hung up on me before I could get her name. (this part is true though! 他妈的, that 印度婆 scolded me on the phone lor! XYZ!)

I trust you will look into this matter, and provide me with a satisfactory response, as well as reasonable compensation. (ie: give me some freebies or i will keep bugging you)________________________________________________________________

i think if i submit this as my biz comm letter writing assignment, sure damn A+ one lor. haha... so if anyone needs to write a complain letter of a similar fashion can use mine k?

in the end, qantas wrote back to me...basically to say sorry, and promised to ask their customer service officers to wake up their ideas. they also included a $200 travel voucher for me to use when purchasing my next air ticket with them. although not alot but it's still money right??

hmm...which country should i go this time?...Bali sounds good to me!

just time...

the visit to NN's house that night was both interesting and strange.

first, there was a group of NN's current batch TP students - whom i've never met. it was their last day of school and they had their FYP presentation earlier. seeing them somehow reminded me of my own FYP presentation. all the sights and sounds of that day came back to mind. we were almost totally clueless about our project (since it wasn't really done by us) but managed to pull the wool over the lecturers. (or did we not?) time flies indeed, 4 years have passed.

then there were her kids, the last time i saw them was 3 years ago? i remembered how a baby girl was so tiny in her mother's arms. now she's grown so tall that i am hardly convinced she's only a 3 year old. her name is Frada, which i thought was quite amusing. i immediately can imagine myself calling her RADAR RADAR non stop to piss her off if i were her classmate. oh i forgot that her mum has a funny name herself too, which, i never fail to constantly make fun of.

then there was IV, i was pleasantly surprised that she'd go there with me. afterall the misunderstanding some years back cost us our friendship, setting us apart. we hardly kept in contact after, only to see each other during our poly class gatherings...which, were rare occasions anyway. we used to be such close friends in school, with so much to talk about. it would've been so good if we kept it that way. the conversations we had that night seemed to have propelled us back to the time before we fell out with each other and i enjoyed every moment of it...i don't know what she thinks of it now, but i will cherish this re-found friendship in the best way i can.

so much time has passed and so many things have happened.......but everything feels like it was just yesterday.

CNY blah blahs...

i cannot believe how busy i was throughout the chinese new year! endless projects and presentations to prepare for! adding to my agony was some irresponsible project mates who just so cannot be bothered. sigh, guess it's retribution, i free rided too much during poly days, so now kena free ride back lah. heh.

but chinese new year wasn't without fun! i was alone (cos pa and ma went for a holiday) and i invited lots of friends home to chill out.

i was really thankful...that my poly mates came. we hardly get together, usually only once a year. and i'm glad for this year's quota, it happened in my house. :) they told me that it was really hard to imagine that i can cook, and the food was edible and actually NICE. you guys just have to get over the fact that i am Champion Chen in many aspects in life :P:P...

it was interesting that despite being 24 years old already, we all still spoke to each other like as if we were still 18, 19! heh. still childish..in a way, and i really like that. the only difference was perhaps, some topics of discussion revolved around jobs, salaries and which car you own...

oh, then came tkd friends on another day...then came secondary school friends...it was really fun to host all my good old friends in my house.

my sec school mates! too bad i didn't get to take any photos with my poly mates this time :(