the guy friend again

on MSN...

qix: ooooeeeeiiii!!! i desperately need to lose weight!
qix: teach me howwww!
the guy friend: make more love

qix: liddat will lose weight meh? how?
the guy friend: ride on him

qix: hmm...but i thought usually the horse works harder than the jockey?
qix: in this case i should be ridden on...
the guy friend: either way it works, i can be your jockey

qix: ....

i don't know why i'm still friends with the guy friend.

i am not your Champion Chen anymore...

was watching the re-screen of 谁与争锋 (the ch8 wushu show starring Terrence Cao and Vincent Ng) on TV tonight...

it was showing a scene on sparring competition between different martial artists and it sparked past memories of my own TKD competitions. i ransacked through the VCD box and found my competition videos. started playing them on my big ass 32" TV in my room... images of myself training in national squad... sights and sounds of local and overseas competition... all came back.

i miss training, sweating, muscle aches, injuries, wearing the national flag proudly on my left chest, butterflies in stomach while waiting for my next bout, the anticipation, excitement, adrenaline rush of scoring a point... most importantly... i miss feeling like a CHAMPION.

i miss the smug on my face which i always have after winning the gold medal... i miss the fact that i walk around with my nose in the air and how i was so haolian and people hate me for my guts but could do nothing with it... i miss people shouting my name cheering for me, giving me the thumbs up after i win a match beautifully.

i really miss TKD. i really miss competitions, i'm still hungry to win... what can i do to fill this emptiness in me?

if only i could turn back time... would i have done things differently?

pretty sad now actually... got a little emotional... cried abit while thinking...

i heaved a great sigh and stopped missing all that i miss when i saw that the time now is 315am. in less than 3 hours i will be back in The Office.. to my seat, my desk, my home for the next 10 hours or more. go to a job without excitement, a job where i swallow my pride and a job that mostly makes me feel like a LOSER and never a CHAMPION.

i shall go sleep now.

itching to leave my job??

it was a quiet Saturday morning where hardly anyone was in the office. i picked up The Straits Times papers and started reading it. all of a sudden a big shot ang moh HR lady appeared from nowhere.... she walked by my desk and saw that i had.................THE RECRUIT SECTION in my hands!!!!

walau.

and the reason why i didn't even realise her presence is because i was totally engrossed in whatever i was reading. ie: job postings

!!!

aiyoh...do i act like someone itching to leave her job??!

operating on a deficit

went to JB today with OHL who was my poly yr 1 lecturer! how cool is that. heh... hmm time flies man i've known her since i was 17 yrs old which means 9yrs ago! hah...

apart from all the "must-do's" in JB ie: cut + colour hair, massage, shopping, eat good food... i especially had a wonderful time chatting with her about anything and everything...better known as: gossipping.

talked about life, school, career, future, family... money!... she's definitely one of my bestest poly lecturer man. i can talk so much crap, create trouble for her to clean up, give her all my nonsense and she'll still love me for who i am. hah...

*dang*

was fun today, but spent so much money there too...i came back and realised...after paying this month's credit card bill i am officially operating on a deficit! arghh! let me ask The Dad for money :P i am such a loser daughter i know!

how much are you worth? literally...

random conversation #336 with The Dad in the car:

dad: qi ah.... not say i want to say...but you really quite fat now
me: walau eh paaaa...you got more direct abit not?

dad: aiyah...we are father and daughter, cannot be honest meh?
me: =_=" ........

dad: tell you what, let's strike a deal
me: whaaaat lahhhh?!?!

dad: promise me you'll shed 5 kgs, and i will give you $5,000.
dad: 1 kg = $1,000...onz?
me: YOU SIAO ISSIT!

dad: i'm serious!! for every kg you lose i give you $1,000, but you must lose at least 5kgs and must maintain till next year lahh!
me: hmm not bad hor? my 肉 (meat) sounds like machiam it's 龙肉 (dragon meat)...

random conversation #337 with The Dad in the electronics store:

me: fwah paaa....if we top up just 100 bucks more can upgrade to 32" LCD TV liao
dad: siao boh 32" is too big for your room lah!! later eyesight spoil...

me: but top up 100 bucks more nia!!! i want lahhhh.... *starts whining tactic*
dad: ok fine, i'll pay for it if you like it enough

*me thinking: wah seh...i thought of paying it myself but since dad offered...heh heh...*

dad and i queuing up to pay....

dad: don't forget our deal ok? this TV is like deposit...
dad: shed one kg for me to see next week first

*FAINT*

我说的是...那个时候...

昨晚我睡得很香，很甜...
好久，好久没有这种感觉了.
今天下午一点钟才起床...
醒来后，还对自己傻笑了一会儿.
心里怀着满满幸福的感觉，真的好开心!

我仿佛又回到了那个时侯... 我说的是...

天天赖床， 睡到太阳都照屁股的那个时侯...
不上学也没关系的那个时侯...
没有考试就没有烦恼的那个时侯...
不需要付太责任的那个时候...
做错事只需要一笑而过的那个时候...
"将来" 对我来说还很遥远的那个时候...
大家都让着我的那个时候...
无忧无虑， 不受约束的那个时候...
衣来伸手，饭来张口的那个时候...

说穿了，我就是不想长大啦!

peanuts

you pay peanuts, you get monkeys. and in my company, they expect us to be genius monkeys that can perform expert acrobatic tricks overnight...

i am tired....from all that crap training.

pillowfull of qix's saliva

been trying to sleep off the pain but apparently it refused to go away. and my whole pillow is full of saliva cos cannot close my mouth fully. DAMN GROSS! muahahaha... damn grumpy now, every little thing can potentially make me tick! *hear me roar!*

i'll have to find a way to remind myself to not lose my cool especially at work! grr...

the day i nearly became Toothless Chen

my toothache was so bad that i had to leave work halfway to see a dentist. i was almost in tears when i turned around to ask The Big Boss for her permission to leave. i think she was quite stunned too when she saw my face...so she said "FWAH yes please leave like NOW!"

when i finally saw a dentist (i went to three clinics!) he was like god's send from heaven. but good times don't last very long. he was trying so hard to see what he could do to salvage my screwed up set of teeth by not extracting anything. he said: "to save you from becoming boh gay at such a young age...

1 filling needs to be replaced
2 root canal plus crowning has to be done
3 in grown wisdom tooth will have to be addressed (most likely surgery)
4 (or more) cavities needs to be filled at various places!"

he nearly refused treatment when he found out i have heart murmur! (he asked if i had any heart/cardiac problems like hole in heart/heart murmur =_=") i said to him: "i don't care even if my heart were to stop now just STOP MY PAIN!" sigh...yes i was that desperate. :(

today i only had the money (and the energy) to like do one root canal thingy... will have to come back for many more visits to fix everything! i called The Boss after dentist and the anesthetics have not worn off by then so i sounded damn LAO HONG on the phone. she couldn't stop laughing at me! BOO HOO HOO!

in conclusion: i walked out of the dentist with a swollen left face, $1,200 poorer and a two day MC...

(i shall fully utilize my MC by going for a facial and shopping!...both activities do not involve TALKING, CHEWING and any sort of MOUTH MOVEMENTS so it makes sense. i'm not cheating the company. LOL)

American Gangsta

just back from watching American Gangster with a bunch of friends from work. nice show... pretty thought provoking for me. let me share my thoughts on some of the memorable quotes from the movie.

"you're too loud, you're making too much noise. listen to me, the loudest one in the room is the weakest one in the room."
mind you, there is a lot of truth in the saying "empty vessels make the most noise". there's a difference between being loud and being prominent. i want to stand out at work, but not seen as someone who is all talk and no substance...

if you had watched the movie, Frank Lucas' downfall was brought upon when he broke his own rule of staying low profile. he wore this really expensive (and loud) fur jacket to the boxing game; that was when he caught the attention of the authorities. second takeaway point for this; if you fuck up the rule, the rule fucks you up.

"quitting while you're ahead is not the same as quitting."
knowing when to stop while you're at its best... in a way i was happy i quitted Taekwondo while i was at my peak. look, 7 times consecutive national champion? i don't think anyone in Singapore would ever exceed my achievements... i was sure i could achieve even more if i continued training, if not for the dumb old assholes who are power hungry and play sports with politics. fuck them all... i'm so glad they're paying for their mistakes now. ever since the SEA Games silver i won for my country... TKD is basically nothing but just a bunch of trash who never wins in the eyes of the government...

"judges, lawyers, cops, politicians. they stop bringing dope into this country, about a hundred thousand people are gonna be out of a job."
sometimes, ethics are not the best interest for everyone. always look at the bigger picture. so what if you've done something that seemed "inethical" at that moment in time? if you piece it together...it may just make the whole world work right for everyone. don't be a stick in the mud and be all uptight about moral standards and stuffs, totally cannot stand it. look at what's best for the interest of most people...

"ya are what ya are in this world. that's either one of two things: either you're somebody, or you ain't nobody."
i've always said i wanted to be somebody...well i guess i should have have been more specific... hahaha

Shut Up Move On

drama mama happened in office today... people crying, managers put in tight spot. no one likes bad news... but i really think people should shut up and move on...including MYSELF!

‘Shut Up’
- to stop what you’re doing
- take time out to reflect
- let go of baggage and beliefs that hinder your potential.

‘Move On’ means
- tomorrow can be different from today
- look for new possibilities.
- don’t just think about it, take action.

1) take responsibility for your own life. remove the i-am-victim t-shirt and stop lamenting about how others have failed you. no one owes u nothing!

2) take charge of your thinking. thinking affects emotions, which in turn affect actions, which always leads to results. you need to overcome ‘faulty thinking’ which brings about undesirable results.

3) understand how setbacks affect you and how to recover from them. we all need time to wallow a little... just be careful how long it lasts.

4) increase your understanding and awareness of other people’s world. this will help to bring about more successful relationships.

5) change comes through action not intention. carpé diem, seize the day!

6) create your own future rather than leave it to chance. forget the attitude que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be... how to make your time on this planet the best that it can be.

wet dreams

on MSN tonight...

the guy friend: peiqi u there?
qix: yes here, sorry was in shower...wassup...btw im naked LOL

the guy friend: miss u lah...i dreamt of u leh...just 2 days back
the guy friend: it's the first time in my life
qix: u kidding me? wat was the content?
the guy friend: censorED!!!
qix: muahahahaa was i devouring you bit by bit?

the guy friend: before u anyhow think, i rarely dream of having sex
the guy friend: i cant believe its u
the guy friend: i nearly jumped out of bed...haha
qix: dont blufff! i think you don't wanna wake up lor
qix: i hope tonight's my turn to get wet dreams...

the guy friend: really.. im not lying
the guy friend: i never had a wet dream in my life lor
qix: now im worried... i'm making guys having wild thoughts abt me

the guy friend: haha...im sorry
the guy friend: u were rather busty though
the guy friend: so i guess its not u
the guy friend: i mean the face is urs.. but body confirm is not

qix: FUCK U
qix: i hate u
the guy friend: haha
the guy friend: maybe we should get drunk one day and try it...
the guy friend: and wake up laughing the next day

qix: ....

i don't know if i should continue being friends with the guy friend.

stop making resolutions that do not work

my 2007 new year's resolution was:

1. be 55 kgs by June, maintain weight until Dec'07
2. chew my food (at least 10 times) properly before i swallow it
3. do not add salt to my food before i even taste it

i achieved half of my first resolution. i hit under 55 kgs but it did not last past August! thanks to the BB pantry and the Peking ducks. do i chew my food properly before swallowing?? hmm..i guess i did? resolution number 3 was definitely a failure. yes.. i'm such a potential diabetic patient. anyone wants to invest in my life-term policy? there's a high chance of me servicing it. maturity date = short, rate of return = high. worthy investment.

so any resolutions for 2008?

1. think, think, talk...
2. read more books and news
3. stop being an undecisive bitch